Text by Lerato Dumse
Photos by Lindeka Qampi and Zanele Muholi

It is a Sunday morning and like in most townships, the streets of Daveyton township are a buzz of activity.
Many carry bibles, making their way to different churches.

In the more quite section of Railway, a blue and white tent stands in a house at Victor Drive, and inside a handful of mourners have gathered.

Strangers, activists, relatives and friends came pay their last respects as they remembered and said their goodbyes.

They came to bid farewell to Thembelihle Sokhela (28), the latest black lesbian, who was brutally murdered in a neighborhood she called home, after moving from her birth place in Kwa-Zulu Natal four years ago.

The funeral service of Lihle is led by members of Shembe church, dressed in their white regalia. They were singing their slow paced hymns.

In the dying minutes of the service, some LGBTI members who had gathered outside the tent (having arrived when all seats were taken), started singing political songs, drowning out the pastor’s voice, while he tried to close the first part of the funeral service with prayer.

The group, much smaller in size compared with other South African funerals of murdered black lesbians such as Eudy Simelane (31), Noxolo Nogwaza (24), Mandisa Mbambo (34), Sihle Sikoji (19), Dudu Zozo (26) and recently Gift Makau (23), then proceeded to march halfway to Phumlani Cemetery.

The second part of the funeral still featured its share of competition between mourners who preferred to sing while others poured soil to close the grave, while the Shembe pastors wanted to read scriptures from the bible.

Lihle’s younger brother, Nkosinathi Sokhela (22) spoke after the funeral and said he had a very strong bond with his sister, having grown up together.

He describes her as a responsible person, who took care of them as younger siblings, and pushed him to study.

He shared his fondest memories of his sister and how she used to give him his baths as a little boy. Adding that she was currently taking care and looked after a relative who is ill.

Nkosinathi also spoke about the different side he saw from his father (who was homophobic), the day Lihle eventually got the courage to come out to him.

“He just gave her a hug and told her everything will be well”, remembers Nkosinathi.

He said he was shocked to hear of Lihle’s senseless killing, five days after meeting with her at Carlton Centre.

“It was after her job interview, having completed her training for a security guard certificate,” he said and concluded by saying the family wants justice.

The funeral comes three days after a memorial service  was held at the same venue.

Lungile Dladla Skosana said, she is touched by what happened to Lihle as they share a similar experience.

Choosing to look at herself as a victor, rather than victim of hate crime. Lungi believes she survived to assist others.

Some members of the Women’s Ecumenical Conference, which is part of the South African Council of Churches, pledged their support for the LGBTI community.

The group is made up of mothers with homosexual and others with heterosexual children, among them Mally Simelane, mother of the late Eudy Simelane.

Representing the group at the memorial service, Thabisile Msiza said they educate and support parents who reject their homosexual children, because of being in denial.

She spoke about their campaign, “My child is my child, irrespective of sexual orientation” and reminded the LGBTI community that they are “fully protected by the SA Constitution.”

Thabisile said they are aware of the challenges faced by the LGBTI community.

She continued to say, “as mother, we say enough is enough, no more hate crimes.”

The mother concluded by saying it begins with parents and the names they call homosexual children in the community.

Related articles

2014 Sept. 26: Man appears in court for lesbian murder

and

2014 Sept. 21: Black Sunday for black lesbians in South Africa

(Isilumo the phasing)

by Christie van Zyl

This month I let my period pain again

But my periods are annoying me

Just a note to you Godperson that created us

My periods come with nausea, headaches & hectic emotional activity based on hormonal outrage

My periods come with intense cravings, loss of appetite, fatigue and extreme irritability

I fully understand and appreciate its detoxing and cleansing nature

I fully comprehend that these symptoms are a sign of dead cells leaving the body for regeneration

I am in excrutiating pain though

And I know that with a good diet and adequate consumption of water, I can have a pain free and hazardous symptom free period

I am menstruating though with very little access to the kind of healthy consumption that would make this process bearable

A bulk of us woman are living on a protein and carbohydrates diet only, clogging up our blood systems making our bleeding process equivalent to illness

Sausages and pap. Chicken and rice. Dumplings and amathambo (meaty bones). The most vegetable on my plate would be potatoes when we can afford them, otherwise onion is all you get.

On occasion mommy would manage to get us a can of peas and a can of baked beans. Once in that blue moon; when she can take something home from the hospice she works at

We try to plant vegetable gardens ourselves but the goats eat all of our harvest and the passers by steal our harvest too. Even our self empowerment is a lost cause

So you see Godperson, our blood does not flow steadily because we do not have enough nutrients to oxygenate our bodies

We do not have enough money to buy fruits like bananas to pump potassium into our bodies, so that our blood does not clot too much causing us so much period pains. Here in Cradock a bunch of five bananas is R10, as opposed to the R5 of the big cities, where is the love at yo?

Never mind the fibre rich foods to not get constipated when we are on our periods, oats and weetbix are expensive. We have to count our pennies for bread every day because we also live with school children

When we do have money to populate the house with food , we are unfortunate to live with a drug addict and an alcoholic, the two of which demolish every source of food in their eye sight, the moment they see it as of cause drugs and alcohol cause munchies.

When we bake amagwinya (fat cakes) and isinkwa sombako (home baked oven bread), the drug addict brother we have and the drunkard father we have finish a loaf each by themselves. Mind you there are 7 of us in this house to feed.

So tell me God person when we have to contend with such suffering to our beings, then engage that kind of pain every month; then still have to go hustle a living to feed addictions of people who contribute nothing to the sustainability of this home…
How do we go on?
We can’t even afford the pills that can nullify the pain and the symptoms of our menstruation, neither can we afford to lie down and listen to our period pain until it subsides.

You leave me doubtful of your thought process when you wanted to cleanse our bodies of unused eggs. It is excrutiating and torturous. I am awe struck and confused because contending with being your creation is punishment enough – I mean capitalism makes us pay for pads; if condoms can be free because sex is a natural act. Then why the hell are we paying for pads, which by the way are also made with chemicals that can damage the uterus.

What is the necessity of this pain?
And don’t anybody tell me that it’s natural, that I should deal with it, because it clearly never cripples you the way it tears my anus apart because of natural bodily fluctuation.

This month I am letting my period pain again but this time it is definitely not gracefully embracing the rebirth of life inside of me.

This time it is disgruntedly so, I am pissed off about not being able to enjoy it in the warmth of my bed; with my mensies munchies (which by the way I cannot afford) and loud music that will release all my hormonal fluctuations that are causing heavy emotional baggage.

I am living in small towns with low economy problems, so I am definitely not enjoying lesilumo esilumayo (this period pain).

Period!

P.S It probably would have helped a lot more if you had asked me at conception whether I’d need this contraption that makes me bleed every month, because I actually do not want any kids of my own. I also do not have the thousands of rands it would cost me to have a hysterectomy. When I do have them I will be spending them trying to fix the damage that your human creatures have done, by not understanding nor activating the relevance of the trickle down effect.

QHA!

Related links

2014 Aug. 14: HEAIDS Women’s Health – ZAZI Launch

by Lerato Dumse

A day meant to be filled with photography adventure which is historical educational turned bad, when three photographers were robbed of their camera, on  the 10th July 2014 in Soweto.

Lindeka Qampi (45) facilitator, Thando Methane (17) and Nhlanhla Maluleka (17), learners participating in the Siyafundisana Photo XP training at Aurora Girls High School.

The trio traveled to Joe Slovo mine with the aim of taking photographs for one of their projects titled My Soweto, which is looking at the historical background of their community.

However Lindeka said it was not long after they had arrived at Slovo, they were confronted by a group of men who took the camera that was shared by the group of 13 teenagers.

Block 7, Morafe Hostel 

The street vendors’ place near Morafe Station, Soweto

Morafe bridge which divides Mapetla and Tladi townships of Soweto.                                                                          © Photos by Thando Methane (2014)

“We felt safe in that area because we were next to a taxi stop and residential area, and it was around 1pm,” added the facilitator.

All the women could do after the crime was to scream, but they said their screams fell on deaf ears as everybody just looked on and continued with their business.

Lindeka continues to say their efforts of tracing the men immediately after the incident, were further compromised by residents who were alerting the men that the police were driving around looking for them.

Thando who is in Grade 12 had the Canon 600D camera with 64Gb card around her neck when it was snatched by the thugs.

The aspiring journalist said after one of the men asked for the camera, he lunged as if to attack and when she ducked he pulled the camera.

Nhlanhla helped her best friend to duck the thief’s flying fists and admits to have been left in a state of shock unsure if she would be able to ever feel comfortable to shoot in public again.

She described the attackers faces as scary, but said she won’t let this incident pull her away from her long time dream of being a professional photographer.

Siyafundisana 2014 Photo XP Training began in February, and is one of the projects founded by photographer Zanele Muholi working tirelessly on this initiative with Linda Mankazana (educator at Aurora Girls High), Lindeka Qampi (photography trainer) and Valerie Thomas who drives it from France.

Young girls are taught how to use camera and become photographers while they are still in school.

The group currently consists of 13 girls, but the collaborators’ vision is to see photography introduced as part of the curriculum, adding that many South Africans still can’t access Universities where photography is offered.

Four of the young female learners (Nhlanhla Maluleka, Kamo Petlele, Mthabiseni Mbhele and Ntombi Shabalala) recently returned from 2014 Cape Town Month of Photography where they presented their work to a group of professional photographers and art lovers.

Related links

2014 Oct. 2: Long trip to Cape Town from Johannesburg

and

2014 July 16: Through the eyes of young women photographers
http://inkanyiso.org/2014/07/16/2014-july-16-through-the-eyes-of-young-women-photographers/

and

2014 July 12: From Soweto to Paris for the love of photography

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/07/13/2014-july-12-between-collaborations-and-collectivism/

and

2014 July 13: ” Give children cameras not candies”

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/07/13/2014-july-13-give-children-cameras-not-candies/

and

2014 Aug.1: InterGenerational conversation with current and future stars

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/08/06/2014-aug-1-intergenerational-conversation-with-current-and-future-stars/

and

2014 Aug. 30: Young aspiring photographers experimenting lithography

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/01/2014-aug-30-young-aspiring-photographers-experimenting-lithography/

and

2014 Aug. 30: Insightful analysis from the guest speaker

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/03/2014-aug-30-insighful-guest-visit/

and

2014 Aug. 28: Fine Artists on importance of being creative

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/10/2014-aug-28-fine-artists-on-importance-of-being-creative/

and

2014 Sept. 8: Manku and her niece buried next to each other

http://inkanyiso.org/2014/09/11/2014-sept-8-manku-and-her-niece-buried-next-to-each-other/
and

Related links

Mail & Guardian made a mention of some yfl two weeks ago and the link is:
http://mg.co.za/article/2014-09-18-15-significant-sa-photographers-to-know

Previous PhotoXP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCywB_Yw5v8

© Photos by Zanele Muholi (2014)

by Lerato Dumse

A suspect is due to appear in the Tsakane Magistrate Court today (October 14), in connection with the fatal stabbing of Phumzile Nkosi (27) on October 2, 2014.

Pastor Dlamini led the funeral service…

Members of Daveyton Uthingo, were there to grieve with the family and friends, standing in front Funo, Pride, Pearl, Sicka and Lesiba.

Musa Williams from EPOC LGBTI spoke deeply at the funeral…

Activists came to support the grieving family…

Miriam Nkosi, the victim’s mother arriving at Vlakfontein cemetery…

Phumzile, a lesbian mother of two boys aged 8 and 9years old, was laid to rest at Vlakfontein cemetery, after a service at home on October 12.

For Miriam Nkosi (54) the funeral of her youngest child meant she had buried four children, three of them killed in violent crimes.

Miriam says she was fetched from her house around 7pm and told that Phumzile had been stabbed in Extension 19, Tsakane, not far from her section in the same township.

When /Inkanyiso visited the family, before documenting the funeral, Miriam only had second hand information, on what happened to her daughter that fateful lateThursday afternoon.

She explained that Phumzile had left home earlier that day and said she was going to visit a friend.

Miriam says she arrived in Ext 19 to find her daughter lying on the street, facing up and dead, while people surrounded her from a distance.

She says it was when she turned her over that she saw the stab wound, while hearing a policeman demand the cloth, used to clean Phumzile’s blood in the house she was allegedly stabbed from, before being moved her to the street.

She added that she wants justice for Phumzile’s death.

Rest in peace… Phumzile Nkosi…
We will always remember you!!!

by Thobe Gumede

It is Tuesday, 21^st Oct. 2014 in the afternoon at Aurora GHS where guest speakers come and share expertise with young photographers.

The interaction started with a traditional icebreaker, a good meal, brought by the visitor for the photography learners at Aurora Girls High School. The learners had been waiting in anticipation to meet the guest speaker of the day, Veronica Noseda, a member of Equipe Les Dégommeuses, Paris, France.

The AGHS PhotoXP learners after guest speaking session.
© Lerato Dumse (2014)

Introductions were in order and the learners were happy to hear that Veronica was impressed with their work. She liked the fact that the learners have their personal perspectives and own realities’ which is priceless and is a great start to being good photographers, writers or filmmakers.

They were both excited and shy to introduce themselves until the journalist, soccer player and activist introduced herself to the students, and later emphasized that, that’s how the learners should also introduce themselves wherever they are, clear, loud and proud.

Veronica shared with them that she spent the past 15 years living in France and it is during these years that she met Zanele Muholi, a South African activist and a photographer who initiated the meeting, and worked with her on a number of projects including the documentary which was screened minutes later.

The documentary titled “Foot for Love” by Equipe Les Dégommeuses was screened at Aurora Girls High School for the 2014 PhotoXP learners was produced during the 2012 Paris Pride week in France.
It tells the story of trip that Thokozani Football Club (TFC) took and how they spent their time in Paris.
The team is named after Thokozani Qwabe, a young lesbian victim of hate crime who was murdered in 2007.
The documentary played on the small screen laptop and the learners gathered closely. Veronica translated when people in the documentary spoke in French to ensure that the viewers understood what was going on.

Discussions followed after the screening, and then there were questions and answers.
Q1. How did the French audience react when they saw black South African lesbians parading on their streets?

VN Answer: The French were both welcoming and curious and some of them joined in after they find out what the parade was about.

Q2. Did you get support from the community?

Answer: Yes, the community showed great support and they were extremely happy to march and sing with the Thokozani Football Team.

Q3. What challenges did you face when you edited the documentary?

VN Answer: There weren’t that many challenges other than technical problems of which were overcome easily since it was a collective project, the documentary cost nothing and some of the people volunteered with their skills and some provided their video footage.
Sometimes we would post on facebook to ask for assistance with fixing technical challenges that were beyond us.

Q4. What is your organization doing for the Thokozani Football Club?

VN: Our organization worked with Thokozani Football Club to show solidarity and visibility of black South African lesbians at the height of hate crimes in South Africa. This was to show the realities of what is currently going on in SA which is not seen on mainstream television in France.

Q#5. How different or similar is the lesbian scene in France compared to the South African lesbians?

VN: We don’t know about hate crimes but some of us are also discriminated against and face a lot of homophobia as well.

Veronica went on to explain that the visual part of the documentary was to start conversations about human rights issues such as women’s rights to equality, homosexuality and so forth.

She also stressed to the learners that everything is interesting, explaining to them how important it is to observe things that happen around them, and encouraging them to take more photos and videos.
A follow up documentary titled Team Spirit was produced and directed by Thembela ‘Terra’ Dick which focuses on the lives of some TFC soccer players back in Umlazi township, Durban.
It was premiered at IFAS, Johannesburg during the International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO).

Related articles

2014 Oct. 16: The lawyer in the classroom

and

Previous links

2014 Oct.:  Long trip to Cape Town from Johannesburg

and

2014 Oct. 7:  Robbed while shooting

and

2014 Sept. 30:  “I truly love Cape Town”

and

2014 Aug. 30: Insightful analysis from the guest speaker

and

2014 Aug. 30: Young aspiring photographers experimenting lithography

and

2014 Aug. 28: Fine Artists on importance of being creative

and

2014 Aug.1: InterGenerational conversation with current and future stars

and

2014 July 16: Through the eyes of young women photographers

and

2014 July 12:   From Soweto to Paris for the love of photography

and

2014 July 13:  “Give children cameras not candies”

It has been two months since you passed on.

There has never been a day that went by since that dreadful day that I have not thought of you.

Each day that passes with tears in my eyes I think of you and what you meant to me.

My thoughts are full of question marks.
Why did you have to die?
Why did you have cancer?
Why didn’t I try harder to get you to see a doctor sooner?
Did I fail you?
Was it time?
Where are you?
How are you feeling?
Do you remember me?
Most of all I wonder if you are OK where you are.

At first I did not want to believe it. Then I felt the most excruciating pain in my heart, a kind of pain I cannot explain to another, pain that only I can understand.

I thought talking about it will ease the pain, I thought crying would make me feel better, I thought getting drunk will help, but none of the above worked because deep in my heart I still feel it.

Even though my tears are getting less with each day that passes. I still cry and I miss you. I know these questions will remain unanswered, at least not in this lifetime, but I still have them.

There was a time that I was filled with overwhelming anger. Angry at myself for not trying harder, angry at you my love for giving in to death, angry at death for stealing the only thing that made sense in my life, angry at God for allowing it to happen especially after I prayed so hard and begged him to spare your life. I am still dealing with that. I know I should not blame anyone but I lost treasure, and find it difficult to understand.

I have had so many dreams of you since your passing, some soothing to the heart, some heartbreaking, some just added to my anger, but most of all some reassured me that maybe just maybe you are in a better place. I wish I could have as clear sign that you are ok.

I wish I could have a clear sign that you ok, that somehow we will always be connected. I hope you know just how much I miss you still and that I still love you dearly.

I have heard these words so many times ‘in time it will be better’, ‘time is the greatest healer’, ‘you will feel better in time’ that they started sounding like bluh bluh bluh bluh…

Every time I heard these words it only felt worse each day as it sunk in that I will never see you again in the land of the mortals. Now that time has lapsed I am starting to understand what these words meant because indeed I am feeling better. Now I can talk about you without shedding a tear.

I am far from acceptance, I must confess, but I know that though I may never understand I will eventually accept and move on. I still visit your grave whenever I miss you too much, I am not sure why but I feel better every time I do.

It still feels like a bad dream that you are gone forever, that my eyes shall never behold your face nor my ears you voice hear, that my hands shall never touch you nor my body your touch feel.

I remember you and all the good times, the challenges, the arguments, the laughs, the tears, the joys and most of all the dreams we had for the future.

Well you are gone my love my friend and my soul mate but you are far from forgotten you shall forever be in my heart for you left an everlasting mark in my life.

You had an impact that no one has ever had, you were one of a kind, a once in a lifetime. If there is anyone out there more honest than you I am yet to meet them, you were honest even if the truth was bitter and I respected you for that.

I pray that your soul rest in eternal peace and that God be with you till we meet again. Catherine Mabe Manku Maduwane
I will always love and miss you.

Yours always

Nokuthula Thuli Tshili

Previous link

2014 Sept. 8: Manku and her niece buried next to each other

Related link

2014 Oct. 21: A tribute to the late lover

Previous link

Related link

by Hlengiwe Amanda Nyandeni 

My name is Hlengiwe Amanda Nyandeni, but I am better known as China.  I consider myself a fun, sweet and lovely to be around individual other people.  I was born on the 15^th July 1982 in Eshowe, North of KwaZulu Natal.

Featuring in Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014) book.       Amanda ‘China’ Nyandeni, Yeoville, Johannesburg, 2007.                       (c) Photo by Zanele Muholi

I am the only child to my mother and I have half siblings from my father’s side.

I live and work in Johannesburg.
Prior to working I attended college and graduated with a certificate in Office Administration.
When I am not at work, I enjoy watching soccer, listening to music, and going to theatre.  I am just a happy person who takes each day as it comes.

I identify as a lesbian, a person who happens to be in love with another sex same person, but it does not change the fact that I am human first.  My mother fully accepted me from the day I came out to her and she is very supportive.  My extended family have been supportive too.

I am in a long-term relationship. I feel like love is a beautiful feeling shared by two people, whether same sex or not. Love is love and everyone deserves to experience it fully without shame, fear or discrimination.

The violence against us is a sad reality that we live with daily, with some experiencing it and some reading about it, where fellow human beings believe that inflicting pain to the next person would change who they are into what they want them to be. It is not every man who is like that (homophobic and violent).  Some men are very supportive, it is a difficult situation that I highly doubt that we would ever have a solution to people who believe in what they believe in and are extremely afraid of change.

I stay in a fairly safe area and I have not experienced any harm, probably because it is in a suburban area.  As from my neighbours around where I live, we hardly know each other, but I believe that if I was in a township dynamics would be different.  Also it could be that I have not personally experienced any harm due to my sexuality because I am in a semi open closet.
I am human first, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a fun loving being who loves life.

If I were to become a leader/ politician/ radio or Tv presenter I would most probably talk about the basic needs of a human beings, basic human rights issues. I’m aware that one can never please everyone, but the reality is that when you are in that position you have to always try.

When I agreed to participate in Zanele Muholi’s project it was mainly because of the love and respect I have for Muholi, and women. I was not aware that this project would be this big, I thought it was Muholi having fun with her camera, but it has turned out to be a beautiful project and now I realize the importance of it.  I am greatly humbled to have participated in it and I hope my words will make a difference.
It is possible to LOVE and to be LOVED!!!

Related life stories

2014 Sept. 24: “At times I’d get jealous thinking she was taking my place”

and

2014 Aug. 30: I’m a game changer, leader and activist

and

2014 Aug. 9: “I am not a lesbian by choice”

and

2014 July 26: “I was born this way and I cannot change the skin that I live in”

and

2014 June 25: I consider myself beautiful not handsome…

and

2014 May 24: The special boy

and

2014 May 7: I don’t like being identified in terms and definitions

and

2014 May 18: Behind the beautiful face you see is a lesbian who is torn into a million pieces

and

2014 May 30: I was a boy who would one day grow up to be a man

and

2013 Oct. 22: I thought university was for the rich

and

2013 Oct. 16: I am a beautiful young dyke, a woman lover

and

2013 Oct. 12: I just feel she deserves much better

and

2013 Oct. 2: I am a normal transgender woman’

and

2013 Aug. 22: Am exactly where I’m supposed to be

and

2013 July 15: The virus has become a silent relative

and

2013 June 27: Who I Am

and

2013 March 10: “I love women and they love me”

and

2013 February 28: I am not a Victim but a Victor

by Katiso Kgope

It’s been days since we returned safely to Johannesburg from Durban. I must say it has been a phenomenal experience, one that I will never forget. I’m so grateful that I was selected to be part of this great opportunity, and I’m thankful to Zanele Muholi. We traveled to Durban from Johannesburg on the morning of December 30, and the road trip to Durban was very memorable. We took photos and video clips to document those moments; with our cameraman was Phumlani Mdlalose (who documented most of our moves), he is such a funny tall guy. It felt like I was part of a reality TV show, and we were all stars of the show.

The first stop when we arrived in Durban was the beach, a friend said “open the window, smell the clean fresh air that is Durban and listen to the ocean waves.” I must say Durban air is refreshingly calming; I couldn’t get enough of it. The first thing I wanted to do was to feel the sand under my feet while I run around, playing with water like a 4 year-old, but it wasn’t time yet. We then headed to Muholi’s hometown of Umlazi. the sections of Umlazi aren’t named liked the sections we usually use such as extension 2, or extension 3, they are called according to the alphabets but have a specific way to call them, such as kwa A, kwa B and kwa C, and we stayed kwa P.

Muholi’s home had very pleasant and welcoming people, who are Muholi’s family members. We first familiarised ourselves with the place and it was very lovely. We then went to the mall to buy groceries for our visit, and when we got back, Charmaine cooked up a storm, preparing a delicious home cooked meal that we all enjoyed. We then dealt with the sleeping arrangements, some slept on the bed, some on the floor and some on the couch. There were other places we could sleep at, but we wanted to be together so we slept in the same house.

L-R: Katiso Kgope (the author) and Lu Mzimela (the new friend that Kat met in Umlazi in Dec. 2014). Photo by Zanele Muholi (1st Jan. 2015). Lagoon Beach, Durban.

We woke up the next morning and had a meeting to discuss everything we wanted to do while we were in Durban. Top of the list was the beach; we took everything we needed, before heading to there. On our way we picked up a girl called Luyanda Mzimela, I think Muholi planned to hook us up because we instantly clicked as if we’ve known each other for a very long time.

We immediately became best friends, we looked very much alike, and people thought we were twins. While driving to the beach I was so excited (apart from the fact that it wasnot as hot as I expected). It was kind of cloudy but that didn’t stop us from having fun at the beach and touring the different beaches such as North beach and South beach.

We were in the water for the whole day. We even had a mini beach shoot, nothing serious, but Zanele said in order to have a proper beach shoot, we need proper swimwear, so a proper beach shoot awaited us. Later that evening we returned toed Muholi’s home,
everyone had made their own plans. That all failed, so we ended up spending the night there. It was amazing; we danced, and laughed while meat was prepared in the braai.

Then came time for the countdown, moments away from 2015. I could just see the joy in everyone’s face, waiting for the clock to strike 00:00. When the New Year came in, Umlazi blossomed with beautiful fireworks that were a work of art, which is one of the highlights of the trip.

Then came the day of the beach photo shoot, the day I had been waiting for. We drove around town looking for props for the shoot and found beautiful hats along with underwear that complimented the swimsuits. While doing the last minute shopping for the shoot, we came across an old woman from Muholi’s church. I was shocked to find out that the elderly lady is a lesbian. I’ve never met an old lesbian or gay man before. It was an honour to meet her.

When we arrived at the beach it was so packed, since it was January 2. We struggled to find a spot to shoot, until we found a nice corner by the ocean at South beach. Luyanda was the first to do her shoot. Looking at her made me feel kind of intimidated to be in front of the camera, worse we were in a public space with everyone watching us.

I was really afraid to be in front of the camera because I’ve never done a photo shoot with an audience spectating. My turn to be in front of the camera came. I was afraid to take off my wrap around because wearing only a costume made me feel a bit naked for the first few shots. Muholi kept reminding me to be free and be myself, because above all, I don’t know these people and they don’t know me.

That gave me the confidence to give it my all and the more shots I took, the more confident I felt. The sun was so hot that while shooting, I felt like my make-up was running down my face. Luckily I had a helper to wipe my shiny face, and motivated me by making me smile. Above all it was an amazing day, couldn’t ask for anything more. A Top Shayela like Muholi would say, “This is how we do it”. I felt like a real model and when I walked around the beach, I was respected for the right reason for a change.

We then went to a braai in KwaMashu, were we met a lesbian’s family which surprisingly enough, also has a gay son and cousin. I felt comfortable in an inviting environment. We had so much fun (like we always do), we had a 7 colour meal, followed by having some fine wine then we all danced like there was no tomorrow, then we left and went home.

For our 2^nd last day in Durban we went to book bus tickets and found that they were expensive. Even though I would have loved to catch a flight back home, we had to settle for a taxi. On the last day we woke up early, thinking we would leave in the morning. We all bathed, had breakfast, some were doing laundry and some were watching the news. Everyone was packed and ready to leave. The transport came, we loaded our luggage in the taxi, we said our final goodbyes and as hard is it was to leave, the vacation had finally ended.

2015 Jan. 2: After the photo shoot @ Durban South Beach…

If it was up to me I would have stayed for 3 weeks, but that was out of question. Those who remained behind took us to the taxi rand to catch a taxi back to Joburg. It was so hard to leave. I felt like I found home away from home, but we had to get back to reality.
Durban was fun, I would not have changed any single moment because every memory is memorable. I hope someday I could return for another visit to my new family that I found in Umlazi.

Related links

2015 Jan.20: Year 2014 was not all great

and

2015 Jan. 17: My Durban virgin-ity breaks

by Thuli Mchunu

Firstly, I would like to congratulate the team that made the Faces and Phases 2006-14 photobook come alive. When I laid my hands on the book my eyes were itching to read it, but unfortunately I was socializing with people so I couldn’t. I got home around 2:00 am and I said to myself, let me first read about my home girl Miss Pamella Dlungwana.

Pam Dlungwana featuring in Faces and Phases, photo taken by Zanele Muholi, Woodstock, Cape Town (2010)

As I was paging through I came across so many familiar faces. I tried to steal one or two sentences, but ended up reading the whole story. I heard the rooster and peeped through the window, it was dawn already, when I checked the time it was 04:45 am.

I love the way the book has been done, the layout of the stories, I also love the fact that it relates to each and everyone who lives a homosexual life. When I complement the layout it is because you can pick and choose whom you want to read about and the stories go straight to the point. Even a person who is not a bookworm can read and finish this book.

No one tells the story better than the owner of the story. The books that we normally read, which tackle homosexuality, are mostly based on research and assumptions. However with Faces and Phases, it is the real people and they are telling their true-life stories. To my surprise my daughter who is 25 years of age is so glued to this publication, and says, “mmmhh Mah it’s not easy out there yoooo!!!!!! I love you my Mom.”

That tells me that the book is not only for lesbians, she even asked me to borrow her friend when I finished reading.

Related articles

2015 Jan. 11: “Recognizing faces that graced the walls”

and

2014 Nov. 20: Faces and Phases book Review by Kea Modise – Moloto

by Siba Nkumbi

I acknowledged that I suffered from alcoholism but I never fully accepted that I am the cause of my misery. Little things triggered a relapse. Here is a practical example: I lost two jobs in one month, lost hope in finding anything permanent and was facing the possibility of going back to the Eastern Cape knowing pretty well that I came to Cape Town to get back on my feet again.

Things never really turn out as planned, 25 years later I still have to remind myself about life being unpredictable. I felt my cravings grow everyday, I had to push through each day reminding myself that I don’t have to drink even though everything inside told me to get that one drink and things will get clearer.

2013 Siba & Thina at Mzoli s place , Gugulethu township, Cape Town. Photo supplied by the author.

I became a master at fooling myself. December 2014 was the month of my relapse, with Christmas and my Birthday coming up, I convinced myself that I had the ability to control my alcohol intake.

After all, I never went to rehab so maybe I’m not really an alcoholic, those thoughts amongst other thoughts encouraged my relapse. I started drinking again, I moved in with my ex boss and I started having a glass of wine every night and I applauded myself that I was better than before because I had stuck to one glass.

The worst day was yet to come. The morning of the 28th of December was a great one. Waking up to the sun shining, what a great day it was. I knew that before midnight I’d be drinking because when midnight strikes it will be the dawn of my birthday. That’s when my relapse took a serious turn, I started drinking and heavily must I add.

On the 30th of December, I realized that I had become comfortable with drinking again and decided to take a step back. I was successful in entering the new year sober, from the 2nd of January 2015 I drank until the morning of the 4th where I found myself breaking down on my bathroom floor.

I came back to my senses snapping back to reality I realized I was playing a dangerous game with myself and everyone I love and care about.

I had to decide if I want stop or continue! I decided to pull myself together once and for all. This time it was final, but wait… I had let down so many people by letting them believe I had stopped, only to start again.

I knew that I was ready to accept it if people didn’t believe me. The difference this time was that for once in all those times I had tried to stop I was doing it for myself only. The last few times I did it for myself, mother, partner and siblings. This time was different I was doing it for me. It only works when you do it for yourself, that’s what I told myself.

I started on a new leaf knowing that I risked losing a lot of friendships by putting a stop to my lifestyle of drinking for fun and to fill the emptiness and void I tried to cover with alcohol.

I didn’t tell anyone I was planning on going to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)meetings.
Firstly, before anything I had to forgive. Through all that forgiveness decision I realised that it’s ok to seek help and admitting that I was weak to do it on my own.

Trying to do it alone drove me back to square one at a time where I thought I was making progress. I saw I was drowning and made that call for help, and so my AA journey started.

I found a group in a Church up in Kloof Street and it has been my home since then. I felt alive when I met people that went through the same stuff as me and realised that help is always there when you need it, all I had to do was ask.

I am grateful to the people that stood by me when the addiction was horrible and unbearable. Thank you.

The moral of the story…

We come across every kind of mystery as humans, we need to know that every problem we face is universal and we’re never alone. Accepting that you need help does not mean that you are weak but it means that there is a will to get better in pursuit of a better life and happiness.

As a black butch lesbian woman living in South Africa, life gets hard. One finds themselves constantly fighting against one thing or another (be it family or the whole world). Alcohol is not the answer!

We have voices and abilities to come out of our miseries if we can only breathe and think.

It begins with saying”

“No” To that drink, leave the rest to the universe and put your efforts on being a better person.

Previous article

2015 January 15: Exploring my femininity as a butch

and

2014 Oct. 15: A letter to my Mom

and

2014 Oct. 10: “I tried to commit suicide…”

by Lerato Dumse

Eyes were cast in Cape Town (CPT) with the hype created by the Cape Town International Jazz Festival, and the #RhodesMustFall campaign at the University of Cape Town (UCT). Faces and Phases 2006-14 (F&P) commanded its own attention with the two-part book launch and reunion hosted by Khayelitsha based lesbian organisation, Free Gender, as well as the African Gender Institute at the Harry Oppenheimer Institute building at UCT.

Free Gender home hosted the closing event on Saturday, March 28 with a braai, which was attended by the book’s participants, their friends and allies from Khayelitsha, Gugulethu and Nyanga. While the more formal of the two events was held on Tuesday March 24, attended mainly by black lesbians from various places like Embekweni in Paarl, Khayamandi in Stellenbosch, Nyanga, Langa, Gugulethu, Khayelitsha. They were UCT students from different faculties who were in attendance, academics and fellow visual artists, and people who follow the work of the visual activist, Zanele Muholi.

Audience that attended the book launch…

Vuvu Mdaka (participant) holding her sealed copy of Faces and Phases

This is Muholi’s forth publication since 2006.
Other publications includes:

• Zanele Muholi: African Women Photographers #1(2011)
• Faces and Phases(2010)
• Only half the picture(2006)

It is the first time that a Faces and Phases 2006-14 book launch is divided into two events, since Muholi started hosting launches in different South African provinces and internationally. The two events were in contrast with one another, considering the venues and language used with only the participants, and excitement from attendees remaining constant.

UCT divided the conversation into two conversations, “Politics of seeing, looking and being looked at, together with reflections on changes overtime.”

In Khayelitsha people mingled before a 11 minute documentary (featuring F&P participants) titled “We live in fear” (2013) was on a bioscope format screened before the floor was opened to questions and comments.

Four generations of lesbians L-R: Muholi, Funeka Soldaat, Yonela Nyumbeka and Zethu Matebeni (24/04/2015). Photos by Inkanyiso crew

Describing herself as Muholi’s long time friend, facilitator of the UCT event and senior researcher at HUMA – which is the UCT’s humanities department Dr Zethu Matebeni, said Muholi is invited as a prestigious person.
Matebeni also shared memories of a period when, “many black lesbians were scared of being photographed, due to fear of being part of something that is permanent or they were not out of the closet.”

“Thank you for coming out today,” is how Muholi greeted guests at UCT before mentioning that her life began in different spaces, “where I questioned our existence and was bothered by the invisibility of black lesbians.” Muholi who last exhibited at UCT more than a decade ago said, “We have to enter University spaces and not seeing what looks like us on the walls means we must change those walls.” The artivist told the crowd that without people’s participation the book would not have happened, and is indebted to them.

Funeka Soldaat, Makhaza, Khayelitsha, Cape Town (2010)

The Oppenheimer hall erupted with people singing a song remixed about Free Gender, when Funeka “Tafura” Soldaat who is the leader of the organisation, stood up to speak during the UCT launch. Tafura opened by talking about the panic they went through when the four men who were arrested for killing Zoliswa Nkonyana escaped from jail.

“We knew that we would be their first targets,” shared the long time activist. Tafura also explained that in 2008 when Free Gender was born they never thought of taking pictures; “because the main thing was to make sure they we are comfortable in our township as black lesbians.
It was not until 2010 while attending Millicent Gaika’s court case that Muholi advised them they need to start a blog, so they can document their organisation. “Since no one knew about blogs in our organisation, Muholi trained some members on Basic Photographic skills and also to operate our Freegender blog and now everyone knows about FreeGender,” Tafura added.

Speaking during both events, Tafura reiterated that she doesn’t want the  existence of black lesbians to be wiped out. “If our history had been told before, we would not have faced the homophobia that we are facing today.”

Tafura believes that taking photos is crucial for history; “we are fighting with pastors who say homosexuality is a new thing because there was no one in 1912 who photographed homosexuals.”

Yonela Nyumbeka, Makhaza, Khayelitsha, Cape Town, 2011

The youngest panelist Yonela “Small” Nyumbeka who was present at both events said she is a strong lesbian because she associated with old lesbians such as Muholi and Tafura who groomed her to stand her ground. Looking at her portrait Yonela sees herself as cute and grown up since the photo was taken. She said her reason for participating in the series is for people to see there was an activist called Small.

Lesego Tlhwale, Braamfontein, Johannesburg (2010)

Another participant, Lesego Tlhwale stood up during the UCT launch, “to express appreciation for what Zanele has done, and to thank “ubaba” as we affectionately call Muholi.”
Lesego also added that she wanted to respond to a question asked about black lesbians and if they are only identified as ‘black lesbians from the township’.
“It made me think and reminded me of the work that Zanele does, which is similar to take a girl child to work.”

Tlhwale added that Muholi instilled in her that she is beyond being a young black lesbian from the township. She believes that Muholi recognises that she has been privileged to be able to shoot and passes that opportunity to others. “She gives young black lesbians cameras to be able to document their own lives,” continued Lesego.

“I had the opportunity to work with Muholi and to travel abroad with her, an opportunity I would never have, being Lesego ‘a black lesbian from the township’. Tlhwale testified that Muholi gave her the time and platform to speak about herself, be in front and behind the camera and not only be mentioned in journals and academic papers by other people.

Selaelo Mannya, Parktown, Johannesburg (2010)

Posing for a selfie is Selaelo Mannya and Lumka Stemela (the cover man). 24/03/2015

Selaelo Mannya shared her reflections about the UCT launch by saying that she is happy to exist in a time and space where members of the LBGTI community can gather to celebrate the first record of Lesbian lives in a form of a visual book.
“I got the opportunity to be part of the series because I was invited to a funeral of a hate crime victim (Noxolo Nogwaza) when I was living in a Johannesburg suburb.”
Mannya says the conditions that Noxolo lived in, shocked her to the core.
“When Zanele told me about the Faces and Phases series I agreed because it was my moral obligation,” added Mannya. She reminisced about coming out in high school, when she goggled “girls who like girls” and Muholi’s name came up and that became her point of reference.
“Participating in this series means I can also be someone else’s point of reference,” she adds.

Thembela Dick, Vredehoek, Cape Town (2012)

Another participant who shared her experience is Thembela Dick, who said her role at the book launches was to document and organise transport for Gugulethu and Nyanga Faces and Phases participants to attend. My take on the events is that it was successful; some participants did not make it because of reasons such as work and long distance.
The event was great because I saw and felt that all the participants were very happy to see themselves in the book. While documenting the event, listening to what the panellists and audience questions, it made me realise that the work we did with Muholi while capturing portraits in Cape Town was history in making.

Related links

2015 March 25: Photos from Faces and Phases book launch @ AGI – UCT

and
2015 March 20: Faces and Phases book launch at UCT African Gender Institute

Previous launches

Related links to Faces and Phases (2006-2014)

2014 Dec. 12: Muholi presents Faces and Phases (2006 -14) at home

 and

2014 Dec. 9: Exclusive book launch of Faces and Phases in Amsterdam

and

2014 Nov. 26: Faces and Phases mini book launch @ RFSL, Stockholm

and

2014 Nov. 7: Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014) book launch in Johannesburg

and

2014 Nov. 17: MoMA talk – Photos of the night

and

2014 Nov. 17: Announcement – MoMA present two best South African artists

and

2014 Sept. 26: Visual diary from Ulm, Germany

and

2014 Dec. 1: “The portraits are no longer just pictures”

and

2014 Nov. 25: Faces and Phases – embodying the freedom of being

and

2014 Nov. 24: Our Photographs have been taken

and

2014 Nov. 20: Book Review – Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014)

by Siba Nkumbi

Need I remind you that there is no rule for pronunciation?

Why do you feel the need to auto-correct me in the middle of a sentence, because that is not how you pronounce a certain word?

Let me tell you this: Pronouncing the word FILM with an ‘I’ (FILIM) doesn’t make me less of a filmmaker.
I am not white; ENGLISH is not my mother tongue.
Just because you were fortunate enough to go to white schools and learn the correct Grammar, I wasn’t.
See, English was taught to me as a second language in isiXhosa i.e. “Namhlanje sizakwenza ii- FIGURES OF SPEECH bantwana bam” instead of “ Class, today we are going to learn FIGURES OF SPEECH”.
It wasn’t easy reading between the lines but I managed.
So excuse you for thinking there is something hilarious when I pronounce some words in a way that you’re not used to. Be glad that you were taught in English. Forgive me if I don’t sound intellectual enough for you when I pronounce my FILM with an I (FILIM)!
Unlike you, I stand corrected. To be precise, I will not conform into pronouncing words with a twang so that I can fit in a certain box. When I speak, I speak because I want to make sense and I am getting the message across.

Maybe before you chuckle to yourself as you find my pronunciation ‘strange’ consider this. The only luxury I ever had when I was growing up in the dusty streets of Lingelihle in Cradock was the ability to go to school.
Barefoot as I might have been at times I endured. You know, Momma made sure that my siblings and I went to school with money she got from selling fish and Russians (Pork sausages) so that at least we’d be able to wear a school uniform and pay school fees.

I wrote this note to you so that you take time to think twice.
I didn’t write this note because I was angry.

I want us to work together so that we can make this world a better place for the next generation.
That is called wisdom.
I don’t blame you for your ignorance. It is a deadly human flaw. In fact some humans are so unfortunate to a point that they take it to the grave.
You have a choice to learn my fellow Black person and repair your faults.
Let us make a great contribution to the brothers and sisters out there that are struggling with self-esteem.
Let us do it for that speaker who is afraid to speak in public simply because s/he’s scared to be laughed at when s/he speaks.
My fellow Black person, it is now time to wake up. Let’s stop killing our own nation. I didn’t write this to offend anyone, I wrote it for freedom of expression. Let’s work together to break the chain

Thank you

From a filmmaker, a writer and a poet that pronounces FILM with an ‘I’ (FILIM).

Previous articles by Siba

2015 Jan. 4: Exploring my femininity as a butch

and

2014 Oct. 10: “I tried to commit suicide…”

Texts and photos by Londeka ‘Siba’ Dlamini

LGBTI community from various areas of Port Elizabeth gathered at Eyethu sports bar in Zwide to say no to homophobia and all the hate crimes affecting the society.

The iBhayi LGBTI festival took place a day before freedom day, started at 12 midday until late.

This event which was the first of its kind was organized by LGBTI local organisations who came together and decided that they need to create awareness in townships as well since annual gay pride only takes place in the city.

The theme of the event was ‘Love not Hate’.

Performances by Eastern Cape artists kept the crowd moving and enjoying themselves.

Queen-Sasha, Triple K, Paballo Mpoka, Mathias Katushabe and many more artists including djs kept the crowd moving also singing along.

Popular Asanda Mqiki also performed, taking people to the good old days with classics.

At 3pm all lesbians, gays and transgenders got on the road marching against hate crime, with one voice “NO TO HOMOPHOBIA”.

LGBTI community from various areas of Port Elizabeth gathered at Eyethu sports bar in Zwide to say no to homophobia and all hate crimes affecting the society.

Related link

2014 Sept. 6: Vaal Pride Photos

and

2014 Aug. 11: My experiences of Paris, Mpumalanga and Durban Gay Pride

and

2014 Aug. 9: A video of the first Mpumalanga Pride

by Amogelang Senokwane
What a weekend to remember. The experience was amazing. I prayed and hoped that it would not turn into a mini pride and thank God it was not. Instead it was a weekend filled with reconnecting with old friends, love, laughter, sorrow, sharing, making new friends and learning from each other.

As for me, it was my first time ever being at the Constitution Hill. Coming to think of it, I passed it so many times when going down town Jozi, but I never, not even once, thought of going inside. Like what the hack!

I was happy that I got the opportunity to finally experience Con Hill. It was a different experience and it made me remember why I do not like anything that has to do with apartheid. It just stirred these emotions that one tries to hide all the time when you hear about how black people were treated. As much as I was not affected by apartheid, the story behind it affects me so much. I thank God for the spirit of forgiveness, even though forgetting is not easy.

Yithi Laba conference delegates on Day 1 at Con Hill before the tour.

While touring the Hill, I remember saying to my friends Sibahle “Steve” and Noluntu that, “I am so happy to be at Con Hill, but it is a pity I do not know where the Constitutional Court is.” I felt a little embarrassed to find out that Con Court is in the same vicinity. OOPS!! I killed two birds with one stone.

First day was hectic hey. All the information we had to know about the place. I applaud the people who work there, the gentleman who gave us the first tour (I forgot his name, sorry). All that history, he was just narrating it like nobody’s business and I cannot imagine how he must feel like having to tell the same sad story almost every day. I salute him.

Then we met a lovely, bubbly lady called Sis Nolu. She was also informative and knew he stuff. There was no micky mouse business with her. She knew the history behind the art sculptures inside and outside Con Court, the writings on the wall, the paintings, and even the carpet.

I remember when she was telling us about the ladder of freedom, one gentleman who was with our group mentioned that the seven step on the ladder might represent the seven days that God made the heaven and earth, I remember turning to Collen Mfazwe and saying, “it was actually six days but who’s counting.” Anyway, Nolu knew everything that had to do with her second home, because literally that is where she spends most of her time. Which, should be a lesson to many people, know your job, and when you do not know, do like she does, refer the person to someone who knows. Stop thinking you know it all.

We were then graced by the presence of a young Virtues’ woman called Kea, the founder of Bontle Bame. She shared her work and family life with us. Encouraging the discouraged and helping some with life changing decisions. A lot was learnt from her and other participants on that day.

We went back to the guest house, which was provided to us by a friend and mentor to many, Zanele Muholi. I made knew friends, Bathini Dambuza, Tinashe Wakapila and Velisa Jara, and reconnected with Terra Dick. We played games and watched a movie until early hours of the morning and we even shared a double bed. Yes, all five of us. Best time of my life. Day one came and day was gone just like that.

Day two was very different. We were moved into a hall type of setup. It was cold and it did not help that the power kept tripping, and heaters going off due to overloading of the electrical equipment. However, that did not damper the mood. We were on a mission. More guests arrived to share their stories, while my fellow, Faces and Phases participant; Steve shared her own story, which a lot of people related to.

We got to learn, understand and know how to help each other. Later we were joined by different mothers of young and old lesbians, who came to show support and encourage us, advise us, and let us know that we are not alone in this never ending war of love and hate from the people who are outside our circle.

I made knew friends again, I met Simangele Mzizi, Mbali Zulu and Liza Makoe (who is my laaitie). They are cool peeps hey.  After the gathering we overloaded the car on our way back to the guesthouse, but who cared. We were living dangerously. LOL!!

The final day was a sad day indeed. When reality started kicking in that we are going our separate ways again. We were leaving our place of safety and a place free from judgment (even if it was only for a few days). It was also a day were it was time to share our stories, the stories that brought us together in the same place. All of us spoke from our hearts; we shared the hurt and pain from everyone who addressed us. We laughed together and cried together. A weekend well spent.

I was just saddened by how the conferences ended. Toward the end it was all a rush since some of the participants were travelling back to their different destinations using public transport and it was late at night. We did not get to hear the story of a legend Sis Lindeka, I personally feel cheated. We did not get to ask each other questions or advice each other. We missed the bottom line by an inch. That is just my opinion, do hate now.

I hope the next conference will be about the participant. I would suggest that guest speakers and parents should be accommodated with our schedule, not the other way around. It was our time and our stories; I feel we were robbed by time. Time is very important and it should be planned for accordingly. There is nothing wrong with giving people a time limit and allowing a certain number of people to ask questions. It shows responsibility and respect. May we the pioneers of Yithi Laba (even if not all) be invited to the next session where Sis Lindeka will be talking, I am certain that we would love to hear her story and hear her passion about what she does.

But let that note not discourage us. This was the first of many come and it was a big learning curve. Let it be noted in the history books.
We pioneered Yithi Laba Intergenerational Youth Conference. We opened up a gateway for those who will follow.

My special thanks to the cook my mother and mother to all Fufu.
To mme Dumse thank mama for fitting us into your schedule. To the organisers, photographers, and videographers to many to mention, thank you and God bless you all.
Pele ya pele ditsala!!

2015/06/16: KwaThema, Johannesburg.
Pictured L-R  Boitumelo Nkopane, Liza Mokae, Amogelang Precious Senokwane, Lerato Dumse and  Matseko Mahlaba. All are featuring in Faces and Phases project.

Previous by Amo

2013 Aug. 22: Am exactly where I’m supposed to be

and

2014 Feb. 5: Love Conquers All

and

Related links

2015 June 5: Yithi Laba delegates on Constitution Hill tour

and

2015 June 6: Lesbian youth gather at Constitution Hill for the first ever Yithi Laba conference

and

2015 June 7: My Yithi Laba experience

I love and adore your femininity
Take me I’m yours for Eternity
The way you seduce me, the Intensity
The way you sway those hips and rock those heels,
the sexiness in it
A love I can’t avoid its inevitable
My beautiful woman
I’m in love with your Identity
A love so pure with integrity
You make me happy is this real Reality?
I’m crazy about you

Does this love need security?
The way it’s so precious and fragile
I put it under Indemnity
The way you love me like there was no one before me,
the simplicity of being young,
strong and understanding means Maturity
Your presence is so warm and affectionate with no Impossibilities
No one will ever understand our lingual
Girl, I’m taken by your Personality
Me and you against the world through Infinity
I will always treasure your Originality
As it’s on the same level as Impurity…
My femme woman you are wonderful
beyond measure and
being a lesbian butch woman.
I will always look up to you.

Inspired by all the wonderful women surrounding me and those who still show me love…

© Nosiphiwo Kulati
2015

About the author Nosiphiwo Kulati

I was born and bred in Cape Town. I’m the last born to my mother and recently found my father’s family.

I’m the 3rd born to him but sadly, I never had the chance to meet him since he passed on in 2007.
I’m 25 years of age and I’m a proud lesbian woman. I matriculated in 2007 but never went further with my studies.
I’m planning to go back to school next year and make something of myself because I believe education is key especially under the obstacles we go through.
I love cooking, writing anything that I feel or think at that moment in time, I also love reading and traveling is my first love. I fear God and I thank Him every day for giving me life and I believe He will set me free and grant me the peace I need.
I live with my brother and my mother who is battling with her health but she’s a strong woman she will succeed.
I’m a Telemarketer, I make sales as my job and surprisingly I’m doing well and it’s my 1st time doing them. I like challenging myself as it lead me to greater heights. I sell insurance on a day to day basis and I enjoy doing it but call centre is not my life but I’ll hold on till I make it on the course I want to study.

 
Related link

2013 April 30: this summer

and

2014 Dec. 3: Beauty

by Sharon “Sicka” Mthunzi

It all started with a ‘selfie’ captured using my cell phone. I remember I used to look in the mirror with a phone on my left hand, and take pictures of myself.

Before the birth of Sicka Star-ban, the hip-hop artist everyone loves. I was just an ordinary teenager who loved the “spotlight”, but didn’t know were and how to find it. Going to LGBTI pageants gave me an idea of how to get it. Don’t blame me for wanting my spotlight; I’m from a very artistic family. I convinced my cousin, Nontuthuzela Mduba, to enter Mr Lesbian 2013 with me and that’s how it all started. I used to look at myself in the mirror and picture myself on stage, people cheering and obviously cameras taking snap shots of my beautiful/handsome self.

We entered the pageant, Ntuthu walked away with the first prince title and me as Mr Personality, which I deserved after all the practice in front of the bath room mirror. After that, I convinced myself that I would live to be on stage for the rest of my life. That was the birth of Sicka Star-ban, who was born two months after the pageant. Sicka took the spotlight I tried to have all these years. She flowed on stage and the crowed loved each and every performance she did. I envy her. With her, it was like I was climbing on a sinking ship, so I decided to be behind the camera and documented Sicka since she deserved my spotlight.

Zanele Muholi, my mentor and inspiration gave me the opportunity of being a photographer while we were in Oslo, Norway. Well, as we all know, Sicka took my spotlight but I couldn’t argue, since she gives it her all during performances. I shadowed Muholi at her exhibition at Arkershus Art Center, I thought to myself; I will make my very own spotlight where there will be no Sicka taking over it. Sicka will only be in front of my camera.

Carrying my 1100D Canon camera, given to me by my mentor, I remained in the shadows trying to figure out how I will create my own space and have my spotlight. That was until I met a group of ambitious young black lesbians during the Yithi Laba Youth conference. I was inspired very much and I am thankful for being part of a group filled with positive people sharing their skills and knowledge. Through collaborations I was going to fulfil my goal. On the 25th of June 2015 Thembela Dick also known as Terra a film maker/photographer, asked me to join her. She was going to shoot Mamela Nyamza a choreographer from Cape Town at the dance studio next to Market Photo Workshop where I will be schooling (I’m so excited for my first day).

Mamela & Mojisola sharing a kiss during the performance.
Archived Photo by Zanele Muholi (28.03.2013)

We got there and couldn’t find Mamela until we found out she was at the dance factory. Terra managed to take a few clips of their rehearsals and after, we went out for drinks. That same evening Terra and her partner Thando had to leave for Durban, to shoot Durban pride. Mamela needed more clips, so Terra recommended me to shoot the next day, and on that Saturday, to go to Joburg Theatre and shoot the Youth unplugged event. On the Friday of June 26^th, I got ready and was excited that finally, I’m getting to my spotlight goal.

When I got to the dance factory they were preparing, so I searched for the perfect spot to document the performances as a professional photographer would. Their audience came in and I was ready to work. I’m not a fan of ballet dancing but watching them inspired me to try dancing one day. What can I say; I want to wear many hats. At the end of the performance I mingled a bit with a few important people, or those who looked important, judging from how they spoke and carried themselves.

Later that evening I contacted Tshepo, the guy Terra referred me to, to shoot at Joburg Theatre, only to find out that the event was on Sunday the 28th. I was off to Joburg Theatre on Sunday and to my surprise, Tshepo is a hip-hop artist just like Sicka. I thought to myself, Sicka will never out shine me on my spotlight zone, because she has her own spotlight, which she took from me. I arrived at 13:00 and the event started at 15:00. Moving around taking pictures and clips of different performances gave me my spotlight. Finally I was asked whom do I work for? But every time I tried to answer, Sicka would just take over my conversations with my new networks and again she got a gig at Soweto festival, for upcoming artists on the 14-16 of August 2015. I have learned to realize that even though I want my spotlight, Sicka will always be the to shine on it. This is only the beginning of my journey.

I am Nonkululeko Sharon Mthunzi and Sicka is a part of me.

Previous link by Sharon Sicka

2015 June 7: My Yithi Laba experience

and

2015 Feb. 19:  Trending with Shaz ‘Sicka’ in Oslo

by Sicka ‘Sharon’ Mthunzi

What a “turn up” as we say when an event is supported by many. People came in all shapes and sizes, from the ladies in their gorgeous dresses to the gentleman with their smart casual wear. Not forgetting laba bebashaye umswenko hah bahle abantu emzansi jealous down.

On the 28^th of August 2015 we touched down at Two Tone Lounge where I was crowning the next Mr Lesbian Daveyton 2015 King. The crowd was there, the gay contestants were there as always, but as usual, butch lesbians and trans men were less. To my fellow brothers (as we call each other), we need to understand that the main reason behind entering these pageants is that it’s not about winning. It is about building self-esteem, confidence, image and creating awareness.

The reasons why we are always side-lined from society is that we also don’t come out as the beautiful/handsome, intelligent, capable and innovative people that we are. I mean we need to show the world that our sexuality doesn’t mean we are not capable of being in boardrooms, senior positions and etc. What I have noticed is that most people think the only jobs we are capable of doing is hair dressing and fashion designing. While some of us party and drink as a career, and it’s not supposed to be like that, anyway back to the pageant.

From L-R: Refilwe Pitso, Vuvu Mtsweni (seated in front, 2015 Mr Lesbian Daveyton) and Lebo Magaela. Sicka Mthunzi (standing at the back) after the crowning of the 2015 Mr & Miss Gay Lesbian Daveyton.                                   Photos by Lindeka Qampi

As the crowd waited impatiently the gentleman got ready for their first attire, there were only three of them, Refilwe Pitso, Lebogang Magaela (Mr lesbian 2013) and Vuyelwa “Vuvu” Mtsweni. Due to the shortage of lesbians, the organiser Lesiba Mothibe, decided that the lesbians will contest alone and crown the king, then after that, the gays and transwomen will compete. My boys as I call them went in while I escorted them to the run way. They impressed the crowd with their different attires, which was creativity, tradition and formal.

Before the crowning, I entered the stage with a performance with the modeling team and my cousin Nontuthuzelo Mduba, who was the 1^st Prince in 2013. It was fun modeling again, even though at first we had a bit of a breakdown but we managed to polish it, after all, these things happen. Our wonderful judges were ready to announce the winner.
The 2^nd Prince was taken by Refilwe, the 1^st Prince was Lebogang and Vuyelwa was a well-deserved King.

I respect Vuyelwa because she has been entering these pageants not expecting to win nor lose but to have fun and celebrate being queer. I couldn’t document due to me moving up and down and assisting the contestants. To all those who enter pageants, to me you are all winners because at the end of the day it takes guts to be in front of a crowd.

L-R: Funo Dlangamandla (2nd Princess), Somizy Sincwala (2015 Miss Gay Daveyton winner), Sakki Leota (1st Princess) and Kgomotso Mashapha (the 2014 Miss Gay Daveyton winner in red).

We were blessed with two amazing MC’s the lovely Xoli Lewinski and gorgeous Labels kept the crowd entertained. The ladies were ready and they dragged their way to the run way looking beautiful with their exotic and unique outfits. Nathi Dlamini took the Miss Personality title, our 2^nd Princess was Funo Ndlangamandla, the 1^st Princess was Sakki Leota, and our Queen, Somizy Sincwala.
We were entertained by our very own Dj Puggy and blessed with drag performances by Kat, Xolani and JacobsJones.
The support from the community was surprisingly wonderful and I wish this initiative is good for our LGBTI image and it also brings the positive side in our lives. For all those who risk their lives going to spaces that danger their lives, I say come support initiatives like this for it brings joy to many, rather than us fighting and crying over hate crimes.

I wish we could have a lot of people like Lesiba who help create awareness through entertainment. If she didn’t give people the platform, I don’t think Sicka would be so great. Entering pageants helped me a lot and I must say it helps calm my nerves before getting on stage.

Related link

2015 Aug. 30:  Losing and regaining self love

and

2014 Oct. 13:  The most exquisite Miss & Mr Gay Daveyton 2014

and

2013 Sept. 15:  Lack of SA Queer History knowledge at the Miss & Mr Gay Daveyton

“Sheshisa isikhathi siya hamba” those words were spoken by our parents when we were preparing to go to school. Those words never mattered to us when we were young because we didn’t know what was at stake. We took our time waking up; some of us even wished school never existed.

I was on my way back from Durban with fellow Faces and Phases family on July 24 2016, when I received an email from 89+ project. They were congratulating me for being chosen to be part of a residency in Johannesburg. I had the opportunity to be one of the artists chosen to carry on with their project at the Google cultural institution in Paris, France.
I was sitting next to Lerato Dumse and full of excitement. As I was reading it there was a part of me that thought I shouldn’t share this information with anyone until they finalise everything. Lerato then asked what the excitement was about?
Lebo Mashifane, who was also part of 89+ was sitting next to us; my mind froze for a second because Lerato’s question caught her attention. I couldn’t lie to my family so I told them the truth and deep inside I hoped Lebo was also chosen.

On the 1st of August I was on my way to a talk at the African Leadership Academy in Roodeport when I received a call from the 89+ people congratulating me for being chosen as one of three artists, letting me know what was going to happen and that I should wait for an email from them. Full of excitement, I even forgot about my talk, but once I got there I focused on what I was assigned to do which was to talk about how being a young activist is like. I addressed students from across the world including a friend of mine that invited me over named Amelia whom I met while I was in Virginia, USA after her mother mistook me for someone else’s daughter.

Within a few days I received an email from Missla congratulating me and to my surprise she asked for Lebo’s contacts because she couldn’t reach her. I thought to myself “Thank God she was chosen” because I was going to feel bad if she wasn’t. After receiving that email she sent me another email which she attached a document that explained everything and at the end I was suppose to sign and send it back. The document clearly stated that we come up with any kind of project even if it is something we have worked on before or a brand new one and it was said that the one with a strong project gets to go to the Google cultural institution to evolve their project.

I believe inspiration is everywhere; it is all about how you view things. My project titled ‘Artistic Healers’ was inspired by a question I got from a student from the UK who asked me how I manage all my crafts and have I found a way of merging them all together?
As I was answering her it clicked to me that this is what I am going to do, my idea was to merge Music, Photography and Traditional Healing. My project ‘Artistic Healers’ is about young lesbians who are artists and healers at the same time. The project is a slideshow of images displayed while my music plays in the background.

Every week we were supposed to meet with Rangoato, who we refer to as ‘Ra’ and also meet with Melose. They were helping us to expand our projects and mentoring us at Keleketla library in Troyville. Once I had an idea I drafted a one page synopsis of what it was about and handed it in, Melose and Ra edited it and gave us more ideas on how we can expand. I went around searching for artistic healers that I can document and I found a few in Soweto.

We spent 4 weeks in residency from the 15th of August until 16th of September.
On the 21^st of September we received emails about the results. I opened my email and started reading, they were thanking me for participating and how I came up with such a wonderful project blah blah, hehe bese (then) they said and I quote “Your project definitely has a lot of potential, however it would be significantly harder for the Google Lab team to help you realize it in its full potential as it requires specific skills and engineers that Google could not provide unfortunately“, I was torn apart because I wasted so much time that will never be regained and I felt I deserved a better response than this.

I immediately contacted Lebo to find out if she got it, to our surprise we got the same email, I thought to myself ‘ayibo labantu baganga ngath’i (they are playing with us). How can two different projects receive the same results and as for “specific skills and engineers” what the hell were they on about because I only needed space and the rest I could do for myself. It just didn’t make sense to me. I replied to the email with questions because I needed to understand what they were talking about and I was still not answered.
A few days went by and I received a call and I finally got an explanation that what Google wanted was a project that focuses mainly on the technological side of things. I asked why we were not told about this before because I had asked what are the requirements. They said, “sorry, it is our fault, the Google team is always busy and they took time to respond.”
I took a deep sigh while anger built up in my veins and then I told myself its not worth my energy I have wasted a lot of time with these people already. They continued apologizing and sent me links for grants I can apply for and I was not really interested.

What a waste of my precious time, I could’ve done something worth my while with the 4weeks I was there. Being an artist is ‘nie pap en flies,’ (not easy), you meet people who will promise you izulu no mhlaba kanti ayi shame bayaku dlala (heaven and earth).
My fellow artists watch out. The world has scavengers waiting to take a huge bite of your success and remember ‘Time wasted is never regained,’ use it wisely and keep doing what you doing. I for one am not stopping because of this little hiccup.
Stay blessed and stay humble and true to who you are.

Previous by Sicka

2016 May 24:  The joys and troubles of being a father

and

2015 Feb. 19:  Trending with Shaz ‘Sicka’ in Oslo